No pain, no gain, and the lamp.

Robert Greenleaf began an article he wrote for the May 1966 AA Grapevine with a story about a man who had a chance to rub Aladdin’s magical lamp and have one wish granted. Concerned about the evil in the world around him, the man wished that all the evil in the world would disappear. His wish was granted and the world became a pure and serene place, with no conflict. The man’s life soon became filled with boredom and sterility, and he regretted that he ever made his wish. Deep inside he realized that humans evolved to “deal creatively with all the challenges of evil, danger, frustration, uncertainty, pain and hardship”. It is dealing with conflict that gives meaning to our lives.

Greenleaf went on to write, “At the center of every healthy man who is really alive is a paradox: while he always struggles to minimize pain, he would choose the world of pain and confusion and problems to the one with no challenge and no problems and no pain.” Greenleaf addressed his message to the members of Alcoholics Anonymous, a group of folks who knew first hand the consequences of avoiding pain with the use of “magic”. Their attempts to avoid pain (or seek pleasure) in the end caused them more unbearable pain of the realization of a life not lived to its fullest. Other “magic potions” that lure us away from true fulfillment include drug use, the purchase of some new miracle product, sexual escape, or gambling to name a few of the addictions that plague our society.

Greenleaf believed that like the man in his opening story, that the state of our lives is determined by the choices we make. We can choose what appears to be the easy route, the one where we can avoid responsibility, and look for the magic to take away our pains, or we can choose to act responsibly in our lives, which may cause some pain, but will ultimately result in growth. That is what living life is really all about. For Greenleaf, the root of responsibility requires that we respond to obligations when the opportunity to act responsibly is first revealed. Avoiding conflict, by avoiding responsibility, avoids our opportunity for growth.