We Can Learn to Listen -- A Helpful Resource

Listening and empathy are two of the ten characteristics of servant leaders. Talking never made the top ten list; persuasion, yes, but not speaking. When I consider how Greenleaf described servant-leadership, the centrality of listening and empathy became more obvious: “[The servant leader makes] “sure that other people’s highest priority needs are being served. The best test, and difficult to administer, is: Do those served grow as persons? Do they, while being served, become healthier, wiser, freer, more autonomous, more likely themselves to become servants? And, what is the effect on the least privileged in society; will they benefit, or, at least, not be further deprived?” Clearly, if I listen empathetically I stand a better chance of comprehending "needs". If I get wrapped up in my talking, I might not let others have a chance to share their wisdom for the benefit of all of us in a business, school, or any community.

Listening has not come easily to me. When I was in grammar and high school in the 1950s, leaders were always pictured as first and foremost great talkers. I have been teaching since 1967 -- from 8th graders to doctoral students, so naturally I've had to be a talker. When I started working as a high school and then university administrator, I knew that I had to listen more than speak, but switching old patterns of relating came in fits and starts. But, I'm learning.

One helpful website that does a nice job of outlining useful information and approaches to listening empathetically is called LISTENING AND EMPATHY RESPONDING. If you are helping leaders review how they listen, you might check this site out. You might look at some of the other "chapters" at this site, too.